Feb 28

Feb 28 The Issues with Opinions on Relationship Status. - By Tianna Andrea

Are you aware that there is actually an unofficial holiday called Singles Awareness Day? It apparently serves as a compliment for Valentine’s Day for people who are single. But the real question (in my opinion) is, why are our thoughts around status so critical towards people’s identities?

I feel its an unspoken negative opinions around single people, their liberation, and self autonomy. As well as the stigma around relationship’s cohabitation, and familial partnerships. The beauty of being alone are the same reasons why some, don’t want to be and the beauty of a dynamic could be the reasons why some are turned off.

Although Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs says love and belonging is a psychological necessity and one of the five theory’s of human motivation. It also states that self actualization stimulates our needs for fulfillment as well.
So why isn’t being single or in a relationship mutually respected? Either way you look at it, they are intimate relationships in both senses.

Why is it that some tend to be more critical of their opposite? We unconsciously and consciously judge what we are not or fault traits that are not aligned with our own.

Despite the revolving and changing components of our lives, we often have a hard time leaving room for others continued evolution (into our higher selves). It would behoove us to acknowledge that sometimes we can be critical with no true reasoning.

I always love to recall the episode of Sex and the City, and I tend to reference this show often, because many people who are fond of this nostalgic female forward series, can always find similarities and comedy within it. Why do people in relationships judge people who are not in relationships, and why do people who are not in relationships condemn the one’s who are?

Maybe it’s important for us to have more awareness of the stigmas behind relationship status and how we project our views on to each other. But we can both mutually agree that it is better for things to be aligned than to fake it. The term ‘fake it until, you make it’ don’t apply to these circumstances.

Why are we so judgmental? It sort of reminds me of that episode, Single and Fabulous? from Sex and the City …

During the pandemic many of our thoughts circled around relationships and dynamics matured. Some of us realized that we were either unhappy in our relationships, the time apart helped us see how much we appreciate taking time for ourselves. Or it even prompted us to start dating again (online). It was a great awaking on all fronts and so many of us recognized that it’s time to recalibrate, by doing so however one sees fit.

I actually recall a family member of mine providing an unsolicited opinion regarding my quarantine process at home, during a family zoom call. Whether she realized it or not, she expressed her sentiments in a manner that almost felt like, a pitty party was in order ! *Drop ballons and confetti*

To say to someone that they “must be lonely” since their hunkered down with no one during a pandemic, while doing so in a family virtual gathering, is overly critical. As you sit on the sofa with your kids, husband and mother-in-law, I could have easily responded sharply that perhaps you’re miserable in the mist of having to commingle in a house all together with the lack of your own personal space. But I kept my thoughts to myself and exercised grace, despite the minor blow to my ego.

We as a people lack understanding especially when using blanket statements or negative connotations to express our thoughts. To be quite frank, I was more concerned about having a roof over my head and the capacity to still put food on my table while taking care of my pups. Romance and cohabitation was the least of my worries, but again her reflections towards my living situation seemed like, more of a personal issue.

Ironically we’re told when we are in a relationship that we shouldn’t allow it to define us. Since we are two separate individuals coming together to share a life. You both have your own identities, and it’s important to explore your own personal interests. Realizing that people tend to project their views is a clear indication to affirm your own values and morals.

Saying all of this sort of reminds me of another episode of SATC called “The Agony and The Ex-Tasy”

Life is tedious, unpredictable, but one things for sure, it’s short. The least of your worries are feeling like you have to hit these imaginary life benchmarks. What I’ve also discovered about habits is that you have to be open to creating better ones, and that starts with yourself. I don’t agree with singles awareness day because you should be celebrating yourself everyday.

Also, if you wanted to celebrate love outside of your self love then there is also Galentine’s Day. Let’s start speaking about all things in a better light.