Would You Date Yourself? By Curtis Bryant

September 2020

I'm reading "Lasting Love At Last" by Amari Ice for the second time. I've created an "Excellent Lover list". It includes the top 10 things I'm looking for in a partner. Did I mention, I'm also able to describe myself, my hobbies and my ideal partner in 6 sentences? Anyway... As I've mentioned, it's my second time reading it and laughing at all the things I highlighted the first time. Thank God for growth is all I'll say.

October 2020

"How cool is it to think that as we're calling in our future partners.They're somewhere calling us in too." I said to Jazzi. She agrees and we both sigh in hope. As we both scroll aimlessly on dating apps.

November 2020

Dating is hard! Capital H A R D. Each of us have wonderful qualities and some qualities, which we may need therapy to heal. But we don't talk enough about how, thrilling, fun and warm it can be as well.

Have we convinced ourselves that we aren't worthy of love? Have we let our views of ourselves, tell us that we would be hard to love?

I was watching The Real as I always do and they posed an amazing question during Girl Chat. "Would you date yourself?"

All the women of The Real had different answers and different reasons, on why or why not they wouldn't do it. It got me thinking "Curtis would you date yourself?" I must admit at the exact moment, I heard the question. I wasn't really sure.

There are so many ways to dissect oneself. You can easily say "Of course I would. I'm such a good time." While some would say "Not right now. I'm too busy with work and my career."

But as I write this piece, I can honestly say I would totally date myself. Outside of working through my insecurities, trust issues and disbelief of my own personal growth. I'm a catch. Far from perfect but every layer of me, is worth discovering. I love hard and consistently. Those two qualities are so rare, that they must cancel out something. Don't they? But seriously, I would date myself because I believe in love. Another very rare quality these days.

In true Curtis fashion, I have homework for you.

Make a list of all the reasons why, no one should date you. Then make a list of all the reasons they should. Take a look at both lists. Maybe one is longer than the other. That's for you and only you to know.

For the list, which includes the reason why no one shouldn't date you, don't settle with what you've written. Across from each reason, put an action. This action should be a way you can help yourself or better yet, a way you are currently/ actively making a change. You'll probably find that your list (prior to the actions) came from a place of insecurity and not grounded focus.

"Keep doing what worked and stop doing what doesn't work. This is how you gain experience, skills and confidence" - Amari Ice

After you've done this homework, ask yourself "Would I Date Myself?"

Be honest and don't be afraid to see yourself as a catch. Outside of love and romance, how could seeing yourself as a catch, influence other areas of your life?

*Waves to 2021*